It's so sad...........

Today I went to my grandmother's with WB and my mother. Gran is permanently placed in a nursing home. And we had to clear out her apartment. Mum rented a container to throw everything away. All Gran's furniture, except an old piece she inherited from her sister, an antique sideboard. We threw away clothes, bag and bags of old clothes, old bed clothes, towls, blankets, pillows, her bed, her big, handmade coffe table, her sofa, her dressing table, her bureau, all her chairs, the dining table and every other piece of furniture. And then all of her possesions. All the knives, forks, spoons, glasses, cups and saucers, plates, pots and pans, dishes, decorations, vases, bowls, candlesticks, lamps and mirrors. We threw away her pictures, ornaments, table cloths, embroideries, olld hats, old coats, old gloves, pieces of fur, record player and bits and pieces. We only kept the photographs and papers and 22's and a couple of books and a few other pieces we thought she wanted with her. And if there was anything we would like to keep for our selves, we kept that as well. It's so sad, seeing her whole life being thrown away as garbage. My brother evenually came to help, and there was a few things he liked to keep. But nothing much was kept.

When we cleared out Gran's house a year ago, we filled nearly three containers, and my mum kept boxes and boxes of things, just THINGS. Things that you don't know what to do with, things you just can't get yourself to throw away, things you think you should keep, things that take up a lot of space. We thought we wouldn't have so much to do this time around, but there was still a substancial amount of THINGS! OMG, the things you collect during a lifetime! Not to mention all of my grandfathers papers..... They were everywhere! And since I am the oldest grandchild, I have said I'll take care of them, go thru them, read them and sort them, throw away the ones that are not woth keeping, keeping the ones that are, and giving everything concerning veteran sailors and NORTRASHIP to the National Archive or the archive of the Labour Movement. It's a monumental task, it's something I could use years of my life doing. Gran always thought I could write something about it, give my grandfather the posthumous reputation he deserved. I guess I have to start reading some of the papers soon....

We finally managed to get rid of it all, the place is almost empty now, all that's left is a few things we're gonna keep ourselves. But it got me thinking, it's this all we leave behind? All our erathly possesions, all our things that our family don't even want? The letters you've recieved during your 95 year old life, the Christmas cards, the birthday wishes, the souvenirs you get from your holidays, the books you've read, the paper clippings you've saved, the magazines you bought, the few pieces of jewellery that maybe is worth keeping, the ornaments that you enjoyed seeing in the living room everyday, the video tapes you liked watching and the music you enjoyed listening to, the monkey calendars you collected, every single thing that make your life your own, the thing that maybe defines who you are. And what happens when all those things are gone, in a single afternoon? When your family throws it all away, and doesn't think anything is worth keeping? When they don't want to keep your sheets of music beacues the don't know how to read notes, they don't want to keep the pictures you painted, beacuse they don't like the motifs? When they throw away your carefully collected china, because they aren't worth anything and they don't like the colour? When your family leaves you destitute and empyhanded, only with a couple of things they think you should hold on to. What's actually left of your life then?

I feel so sorry for my gran, and I am so happy she doesn't understand what's going on. I think I would have been absolutely devestated if this happened to me and I was aware of it all. I know that the things you own isn't your LIFE, but it sure is a big part of it!! I think I want to live my life with all my things around me, and get rid of the pieces I don't wanna keep, give away the things other people may want and maybe not end my life surrounded with so many things and so much considered junk by others. It's all so sad, and I am feeling really blue right now. I'm in a funk right now, I didn't enjoy today at all..............