Yeah, I know, it's been a while, a good while actually, but my mind's been so busy with unwanted thoughts lately....

Took the day off yesterday and went to visit a very pregnant friend, L. She lives an hour and a half from Oslo by train. I went with a mutual friend, S and her baby boy. God, he's so adorable!! Amazingly cute! And always laughing and giggling! Anyway, the last couple of weeks I've been thinking of babies, ever since T told me that she is pregnant and A divulged her thoughts about adoption. I have never wanted a baby, never had the urge to get pregnant and (formere meg). It's not like I don't like kids, because I really do. But I never wanted one of my own. I know many think it's selfish to choose NOT to have a baby, that I am egotistical. I, one the other hand, believe it's the other way around. I mean, what reasons do people usually give for having a baby or deciding to get pregnant? It's always "I want a baby", "We want a baby", "We (I) think it's time to have a baby", "A baby fits in our life right now", "A baby is the ultimate symbol of our love", "I want somebody to look after me when I am old" etcetera. It's not like the baby can choose! You never ( or I never) hear anybody say that they think this world is such a beautiful and wonderful place that they think a baby deserves to grow up in it. Come on! It's always selfish to want a baby! So I don't think that I am that selfish to NOT wanting a baby. And I think people should respect that decision.

Anyway, the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking about babies. Soon it will be too late for me to have a baby. I am in my thirties already! So will it be right to have a baby just because I MAY want a baby in a couple of years or more? No, I don't think so. Since I don't want a baby now, I just have to take the consequences if I change my mind later in life. Maybe I then will regret the decisions I have taken so far, but that is certainly not reason enough to have a baby now. Although I have to say that IF I got pregnant now, I don't honestly know what I would do. And I don't know how I will think about this next year or in two years or three years. I could change my mind, I don'(utelukke) that. Maybe if we get to build our dreamhouse next year, we both want to be a "proper" family. But for the time beeing, I am happy beeing baby-free and pregnant-free. Time will show wether or not there ever will be a mini-me out there!