Yeah, I know, it's been a while, a good while actually, but my mind's been so busy with unwanted thoughts lately....

Took the day off yesterday and went to visit a very pregnant friend, L. She lives an hour and a half from Oslo by train. I went with a mutual friend, S and her baby boy. God, he's so adorable!! Amazingly cute! And always laughing and giggling! Anyway, the last couple of weeks I've been thinking of babies, ever since T told me that she is pregnant and A divulged her thoughts about adoption. I have never wanted a baby, never had the urge to get pregnant and (formere meg). It's not like I don't like kids, because I really do. But I never wanted one of my own. I know many think it's selfish to choose NOT to have a baby, that I am egotistical. I, one the other hand, believe it's the other way around. I mean, what reasons do people usually give for having a baby or deciding to get pregnant? It's always "I want a baby", "We want a baby", "We (I) think it's time to have a baby", "A baby fits in our life right now", "A baby is the ultimate symbol of our love", "I want somebody to look after me when I am old" etcetera. It's not like the baby can choose! You never ( or I never) hear anybody say that they think this world is such a beautiful and wonderful place that they think a baby deserves to grow up in it. Come on! It's always selfish to want a baby! So I don't think that I am that selfish to NOT wanting a baby. And I think people should respect that decision.

Anyway, the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking about babies. Soon it will be too late for me to have a baby. I am in my thirties already! So will it be right to have a baby just because I MAY want a baby in a couple of years or more? No, I don't think so. Since I don't want a baby now, I just have to take the consequences if I change my mind later in life. Maybe I then will regret the decisions I have taken so far, but that is certainly not reason enough to have a baby now. Although I have to say that IF I got pregnant now, I don't honestly know what I would do. And I don't know how I will think about this next year or in two years or three years. I could change my mind, I don'(utelukke) that. Maybe if we get to build our dreamhouse next year, we both want to be a "proper" family. But for the time beeing, I am happy beeing baby-free and pregnant-free. Time will show wether or not there ever will be a mini-me out there!

I work in admin...........

Today:

Me: Hello? I need help. I can't get in to my system. I get this (stupid) message saying I´m already logged on, maybe on another computer and that this could be a network problem.

Support: Ok, right-click on the systems icon, choose properties and write ....... in the target-area. Then click "ok" and try to log on the system with this emergency-password.

Me: Yess!! It works!

Support: Then log out, go back to properties and delete what you wrote in the target-area. Click "ok". You should now be able to log on as usual.

Me: okay..... (What I wanted to say: How could this fix anything, I haven't actually done anything, wont this just set the system back to where it was, where I couldn't log on?)

It worked.

1 minute later:

Me: Hello, I need help, I tried to register this months bonuses etc. beacuse payday is just a couples of days away (Yippi!!) and I REALLY have to finish this and send it to the bank (otherwise I'll be totally broke), but I get this error saying "Salary calculation failed" everytime I try.

Support: Well, did you.....

Me: No

Support: Have about....

Me: Nope, haven't done that either

Support: Well..... (I can hear him looking through his easy-support-answers), ehhm, I have to talk to our technicians, I will call you back.
(How come support doesn't have people who can answer anything else than FAQ? And why couldn't the support-guy let ME talk to a technician? Are they so technically busy that they don't have the time to talk to and help their customers? Who, by the way, pay HUGE sums of money just to GET their help! And why, WHY, does this have to happen to me, who are late calculating this months salaries because I was on sickleave for a week?)

Me: Ok

3 hours later I was still waiting, stressed out and fuming, pissed actually.

10 minutes later I called repeatedly before I came thru on the phone.

Support: We need you to send us a back-up copy of your SQL Server, so we can take a look at what's wrong. And maybe we can have it fixed for you tomorrow.

Me: Ok, will do (but tomorrow is a bit late!!)

I probably wont be able to pay out this months salaries to our employees.............. Support stinks, this is what our company pays over 4 dollars per minute for??!! S***!!

To idle, idling

I idled for to long apparently, so my long and wonderful post just vanished!! I spent HOURS writing it!!! This is just too much. IT IS LOST!!!! Am so angry I could just throw this piece of shit laptop out the window, after smashing it with a hammer. So unfair!! Can't even remember everything, so how I am gonna post it now?! Stupid, f...... "idle" thingy!!! Can't even go back to copy what I wrote, AAAAARRRRGH, am furious now!!!

Anyway, are sitting here in my sofa and eating home-made chocolate cake with a clean conscience. Yesterday and today I rode my bike to work and home again. And today, of course, it was raining when I was getting ready to cycle home. Would you like to cycle uphill 10 kilometres in pouring weather? No, didn't think so. I was soaking wet, my make up made me look like a zebra and the wet mascare got in mye eyes constantly, sooo irritating!! I huffed and puffed like a French Bulldog on a treadmill and weird as it was, everybody else cycled so much faster than me today!! Had to be something wrong with my bike!! Think I somebody sabotaged my bike with syrup on the wheels!! Even though I was dripping wet, even though my legs hurt and my lungs SCREAMED for more oxygen, I kept going. And am proud of it now, becuse I feel so good! Anyway, that's why I am enjoying my chocolate cake right now!

A general election to the parliament of Norway was held yesterday. Couldn't care less, but did my civic duty of course. Although the party I voted for didn't get more than 10 seats out of 169....... Not much influence there!! Now we're getting a socialistic government, a red-green coalition. And I am ready to complain and bitch about the new governments decisions and the consequences of their budget. And I can you know, beacuse I didn't vote for them!!! Higher taxes? Of course, what did you expect voting socialistic? They want more money so more people can live of social welfare!!! Higher unemplyment? Duh!! Not good conditions for trade and industry you know!! Higher interest? Would think that to be a natural consequence, yes. Been there, done that! We have had socialistic governments before, you know! All they want is your money, I believe they think of my salary as their money, only allowing me a monthly allowance. They even use the word "give" about MY money!! They reduce the taxes (IF that happens) to "give" us more money. GIVE?! It is my money to begin with!! The more you earn, the more they want, and they don't care if you work your butt of, don't have any spare time, don't have time for family and friends because you work overtime every day, have bigger student loans than house loans and the only compensation you used to get is a nice bunch of money at the end of the month. I am so gonna bitch when all this happens!! Yes I am!

My good childhood friend T, is pregnant. Oh my God, she's gonna be a mum!!! I can hardly believe it!! Congratulations, hon! Am looking forward to a mini-you!! I hope your views on babies will change now! T has never liked babies, she's always thought of them as irritating and annoying, snotty little creatures other people are saddled with. But never her!! I used to share her views on kids, and actually didn't think she would ever be a mum, but we are getting older and hopefully wiser, and I think that's what happened to T. Anyway, if she's anything like her own mother, she'll be a great mum!

Signed up at flickr.com today. This site is supposed to be great for storing, sorting and sharing your pictures so I guess I am finally getting my pictures in order on this blog! Have a lot that I haven't posted yet.....

Still bummed about my last post that just disappeared, so am gonna eat the rest of my cake and be depressed about the "post that disappeared". By the way, have plans for posting a lot of recipes, so if you wanna share, please send me mouthwatering, heavenly things!!!!

Poor, helpless animals, victims of Katrina

Who cares? In the news here there's been little or nothing about the pets left behind in the wake of the disaster. I love animals and when I read this, I got so depressed:

"Many of those animals sit forlornly on the rooftops of flooded homes, slowly starving to death as rescue boats ignore them, looking for people instead. Some have even tried swimming to boats, only to be rebuffed by the rescuers."

But thankfully, help for animals is coming:

"There are hundreds of people on the ground now, who are trained in emergency animal rescue disaster response, just waiting to get into the areas hardest hit," Betsy Saul, president of Petfinder.com, told CNN on Monday.

I am so grateful there are people who care!!!

That's what getting old gives you

Damn back!! I have been home from work all day. My back is really bugging me! Everything is hard, I can't walk proparly (think Donald Duck!!), I can't sit, I can't stand and I can't even lie down in a normal and restful position. Of course the day gets SOOOO boring, I've read a book already, and started on another one. I hate beeing alone, everything gets so much harder. The whole weekend with WB got ruined because of my back and now it seems this week is getting ruined as well. I can't take my dog for a long walk, I can't work, I can't ride my bike, I can't take the subway to town or to our boat or anywhere. I can't even do anything at home. This has been a LONG day!! Hopefully my back will be bent less than 45 degrees tomorrow! I just have to pick up the pieces of my broken body tomorrow and hope it will work a bit better than it has today.

I am New Orleans

I am New Orleans

Queen City of the South;

As fabulous -- as fantastic and unreal as the cities of Arabian Nights.

I am America epitomized:

A blending of everything -- Latin, Nordic, and Negro,

Indian, European, and American.

.........

Out of the swamps of Louisiana,

Out of the blue mud and sand of the Delta,

Out of hurricanes, storms, and crevasses,

Out of Indian massacres and slave insurrections,

Phoenix-like have I risen;

Out of French, Spanish, and American dominations,

I have preserved my soul.

...........

By Marcus B. Christian

Sad....

Sad and very, VERY angry as well, how can a self-proclaimed GREAT nation like the USA not be able to give it's own citizens the help they require? How can they sit on their asses several days after this disaster and NOT SEE THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION????!!!! Not to be able to give these poor, poor victims water, food, shelter, medicines, to protect them from harm, from thugs and criminals, not be able to have them evacuated? How in the world can a (self-proclaimed) GREAT nation like the USA be intimidated by these thugs, thieves and worseless criminals, let them rule a great city like New Orleans, rape, shoot, loot, use violence and scare the helpless victims of the hurricane? How can a (selfproclaimed) GREAT nation like the USA let its own citizens die because they are not rescued in time, not evacuated, not given the treatment they need. How on earth can the American Government spend time on petty arguments with the local governement instead of reacting? And, sweet Jesus, why didn't they react sooner?!?!?!

My heart goes out to all those affected by this terrible disaster. I am so sad, my tears cannot help them, my thoughts or awkward atheist prayers cannot help, but hopefully now, nearly a week after the disaster, they can at last be rescued, all of them. And eventually, I hope to come visit and admire your great city of New Orleans again.

Prolapse in the vertebral column, walking like I'e got a stick up my bum!

Not really funny, but very unpleasant! Have to walk really slowly and really, REALLY carefully if I want to avoid any pains. Feeling sorry for my self, unable to enjoy todays wonderfully nice September-weather. Unfair world!

Ruduyard Kipling

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!